WANAUME TUSHIRIKI KATIKA SALA HII DHIDI YA WANAWAKE!
1. Atakua na simu yake mpo nyumbani dakika hiyo anakwambia umbip hajui kaiweka wapi.
Tuhurumie Baba
2. Ana Nguo zimejaa makabati mawili lakini hajui avae nini ukimwambia mtoke.!
Baba, ni magumu kwetu mambo haya.
3. Anakasirika ukikosa kumtumia text ya good night lakini yeye akikosa wewe inabidi uwe muelewa.!
Tuwaeleweje, Baba?
4. Ana viatu zaidi ya pea 50 lakini hana viatu vya kuvaa vya kwenda ibadani.
Mungu uwasamehe
5. Akianza kuvaa saa moja atamaliza saa tano muda wote inabidi umsubiri tu.
Si kupenda kwao Baba ila nasi yanatushinda Bwana
6. Akienda saloon anakaa kuanzia asubuhi mpaka jioni na huna budi kumsubiri na usilalamike.
Mungu wetu, tupe moyo wa kuyahimili haya
7. Ana mafuta tofauti ya kujipaka mikono, shingo, kisogo, miguu, mpaka kisigino!
Ee Mungu ni Wewe uyajuaye mateso tuyapitiayo Baba
8. Mnaachana asubuhi akiwa na furaha,na ukirudi jioni amenuna hataki hata kukusalamia na ukiuliza tu balaa.
Tupe uvumilivu ee Bwana!
9. Anajaribu ku match nguo na hereni na akiona hazifanani abadili nguo sababu tu ya hereni.
Teremka uwashike mikono yao baba..
10. Mkitembea barabarani inabidi ukae upande wa barabara eti wewe ni Mwanaume ukigongwa na Gari haina noma.
Eeh baba tuepushe na Hiki kikombe ulisema hawa ni wasaidizi wetu lakini tumekuja kuwa wafanyakazi wao.
Amina..
VALENTINE SAY.
if u see your sister stay at home during valentine day, you must know she date with someone husband
mjini chuo
Jamaa mmoja alikosea
kutuma M-pesa Tshs
500,000/ =zikaenda
namba nyingine
alipogundua kakosea
namba akatuma meseji
ifuatayo kwenye namba
iyo"UMETEULIWA KUINGIA
KATIKA CHAMA CHETU CHA
FREEMASON NA
TUMESHAKUTUMIA PESA
KWENYE CM YAKO BAADA
YA DAKIKA 15 ATAKUFA
MWANAO UMPENDAE KAA
NJIA PANDA GARI YETU
NYEUSI ITAKUFUATA UJE
UNYWE DAMU YA
MWANAO KAMA
UTASHINDWA MASHARTI
RUDISHA PESA YETU
HARAKA SANA KABLA YA
MAAFA."
Baada ya dakika
1 tu jamaa akarudisha
hela kwa kushindwa
mashart
Ways of breaking up with your lover before Valentine
1. 16 Missed Calls? You Killed My Battery so you?re Capable of Killing Me... It's Over!!!
_
2. You don't even respect me. I'm talking and you are busy breathing? It's over!
_
3. I called you and you picked up immediately. You lack patience. It?s over!!
_
4. I told u I love my food hot but you refused to warm the ice cream. You don't care about me. It's over!
_
5. I gave u 2 eggs, to boil one and fry the other. You fried the one you were supposed to boil and boiled the one you were supposed to fry. You are not obedient, It?s over!
_
6. I call u DARLING and you called me HONEY. Indirectly, you?re calling my mother a BEE. No respect for in- laws, pack your bags. its over.
Hapa kazi ipo
Familia moja ilikubaliana kuweka ratiba ya kila mwanafamilia kuchagua chakula cha kupika siku
SIKU YA KWANZA
baba- leo tule wali samaki,ukapikwa wali samaki
SIKU YA PILI
mama- leo tule mtori nyama, ukapikwa mtori nyama
SIKU YA TATU
mtoto (miaka 3) - tule ubuyu....baba na mama wakabaki wanatazaman usoni
SIKU YA KWANZA
baba- leo tule wali samaki,ukapikwa wali samaki
SIKU YA PILI
mama- leo tule mtori nyama, ukapikwa mtori nyama
SIKU YA TATU
mtoto (miaka 3) - tule ubuyu....baba na mama wakabaki wanatazaman usoni
Valentine day
WAKUBWA TU WATAELEWA.....
FASIHI HII.....
Wanawake mmejaaliwa kuwa na LAPTOP zinazopendeza saanaa na laptop zenu zina port kwa ajili ya kuingizia EXTERNAL data msiruhusu kila FRASH DISK kuingia kwenye PORT zenu,Flash zingine zina VIRUS maana hamjui zimetoka wapi kwenye ma internet cafe TUNZENI laptop zenu mpaka mtakapo miliki FRASH DISK zenu ambazo mtakuwa mnauhakika kwamba hazina virus, na kama ushamiliki itunze vizuri usii na iwe kwa matumizi yako tuu vinginevyo.
WANAUME tunzeni FRASH DISK zenu kuna laptop kwa nje zinaonekana ni NZURI kweli na zinavutia lakini hazijafanyiwa window updates kwa muda mrefu na hazina ANTVIRUS sio kila laptop unachomeka tu utajikuta umepoteza mafaili yako yathamani yatakapo liwa na VIRUS
NAJUA flash zinapenda sana kuingia kwenye kila laptop lakini ni vema mkazicontrol mpaka pale mtakapomiliki laptop zenu binafsi na kama ushamiliki yako basi hakikisha unailinda sana.
Ni kweli zimetengenezwa kutumika na flash inaenea kila port lakini pia laptop inafit kila flash....je, unauhakika ziko salama!!
subiri umiliki yako na kabla hujaitumia kaiscan kuthibitisha usalama wa laptop au flash yako. tanx......
Happy Valentine day 2016
FASIHI HII.....
Wanawake mmejaaliwa kuwa na LAPTOP zinazopendeza saanaa na laptop zenu zina port kwa ajili ya kuingizia EXTERNAL data msiruhusu kila FRASH DISK kuingia kwenye PORT zenu,Flash zingine zina VIRUS maana hamjui zimetoka wapi kwenye ma internet cafe TUNZENI laptop zenu mpaka mtakapo miliki FRASH DISK zenu ambazo mtakuwa mnauhakika kwamba hazina virus, na kama ushamiliki itunze vizuri usii na iwe kwa matumizi yako tuu vinginevyo.
WANAUME tunzeni FRASH DISK zenu kuna laptop kwa nje zinaonekana ni NZURI kweli na zinavutia lakini hazijafanyiwa window updates kwa muda mrefu na hazina ANTVIRUS sio kila laptop unachomeka tu utajikuta umepoteza mafaili yako yathamani yatakapo liwa na VIRUS
NAJUA flash zinapenda sana kuingia kwenye kila laptop lakini ni vema mkazicontrol mpaka pale mtakapomiliki laptop zenu binafsi na kama ushamiliki yako basi hakikisha unailinda sana.
Ni kweli zimetengenezwa kutumika na flash inaenea kila port lakini pia laptop inafit kila flash....je, unauhakika ziko salama!!
subiri umiliki yako na kabla hujaitumia kaiscan kuthibitisha usalama wa laptop au flash yako. tanx......
Happy Valentine day 2016
Simba na jamaa
Baada ya maisha magumu jamaa kaenda kuomba kazi hifadhi ya wanyama,alipofika wakamwambia kazi ambayo wanaweza kumpa ni kazi ya yeye kujifanya sokwe pindi wanapokuja watalii.Kutokana na maisha magumu jamaa akakubali bhasi akakabidhiwa ngozi ya sokwe ili aivae.Siku walipokuja watalii banda la sokwe likawekwa juu ya banda la simba na jamaa ikatakiwa aingie ndani ya banda hilo,watalii walivofika jamaa akaanza kujirusha kwa nguvu zote kama sokwe ili kuwafurahisha watalii,kwa bahati mbaya mbao zilizokuwa zinatenganisha kati ya simba na banda lake zikavunjika na jamaa aadumbukia ndani ya banda la simba.Kwa uoga jamaa akaanza kupiga kelele za kuomba msaada kwamba yeye ni binadamu,kwa mshangao akaona simba akimziba mdomo kisha akamwambia " oya mbona unakuwa muoga ivo?, hebu tulia sisi sio simba ni binadamu kama wewe."
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